spicy
Snogged a stranger on the Central line and wrote their name on my thigh
Felt punk, felt grown, still looking for that lipstick shade. Next morning I pretended it was a club stamp.
Dropped 14 minutes ago
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Every whispered truth in one velvet room
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funny
Curated a thirst trap playlist for my boss and blamed the algorithm
We share the office speaker. I know every time they hum along. HR could never.
Dropped 2 hours ago
dark
I haunt boutique hotels by leaving anonymous breakup letters
Front desks frame them. Tourists read them over espresso and think Soho is cursed.
Dropped last night
sweet
Bought two first-class tickets just to slow dance in the aisle at 2AM
Train manager filmed it for his partner. We tipped him with a bottle of orange wine and a promise of silence.
Dropped this morning
raw
Covered my ex’s favourite club booth in biodegradable glitter after they ghosted me
Told the owner it was a sustainability activation. Now the booth is permanently booked.
Dropped 2 nights ago
sweet
Pretend my flatmate’s hoodie is merch from a gig we never went to
I spray it with bergamot and lie about a secret show in Camden just so I can keep it on my chair.
Posted 8 minutes ago
awkward
My mum’s mindfulness podcast is actually my therapy recordings with lo-fi beats
She thinks she’s soothing strangers. She’s selling my trauma. Numbers are great, though.
Posted 30 minutes ago
raw
Left a friend group by ghosting the group chat and staging a fake digital detox
Still stalk their playlists every Monday to see if they miss me. They don’t.
Posted 1 hour ago
dark
Record strangers’ secrets on the N279 and turn them into midnight poetry
Sell the zines in Dalston. Everyone thinks it’s fiction. Joke’s on them.
Posted 5 hours ago
sweet
I re-tie my trainers next to the same girl every Thursday just to sync our breathing
We’ve never spoken. She knows I exist because I hand her the chalk mid-set.
Posted yesterday
funny
Screenshot my Notes app confessions and airdrop them to strangers in Shoreditch
Call it guerilla therapy. Half of them smile, one sent back a voice note.
Posted 2 days ago
spicy
Booked matching tattoos with someone I only know by their burner account
Told my partner it was a brand collab. The artist thought we were engaged.
Posted 3 days ago
awkward
Steal strangers’ voicemails from abandoned phones and remix them into club intros
Resident DJ credits them as ‘Anonymous London’. It hits.
Posted 4 days ago
funny
Sold my flatmate’s ASDA receipt collage as performance art in Peckham
Called it ‘Cost of Loving’. They cried at the launch. I still haven’t confessed.
Posted 5 days ago
spicy
Pretend my therapist is my co-star to take notes like a script
I rehearse my feelings in the mirror and win imaginary BAFTAs after every session.
Posted 6 days ago
sweet
Leave annotated love notes in the British Library’s rare books section
If they reply in the margins, we meet for marmalade toast across the street.
Posted 1 week ago